Beyond
by Chellyismyname
Summary: Anya wants something more out of life. When she does how will she handle the consequences of her decisions. Love will be found lives will be lost and an adventure will be explored.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Decisions**_

I'm nervous. Really really nervous.

I know what I want. But I'm afraid my aptitude test will tell me otherwise.

I'm startled from my thoughts by the abnegation lady calling my name.

"Anya Willow"

That's me. I stand up from the circle of my friends. We cluster together like a swarm of brightly colored flies. Amity can't stand to be alone… apparently.

Which just cements my thoughts of not belonging. I like being alone. I just don't want to be lonely.

In Amity you are never alone but all relationships are so superficial and forced by the peace serum that even when surrounded by 20 of my 'friends' I'm still lonely.

I make my way towards the door where I'm shown to go. Another Abnegation lady waiting inside prepping the room for my test.

"Please sit. My name is Andrea an I'll be administrating your test." She tells me as she fumbles with the machinery.

I lay down on the chair. It reminds me of the ones at the dentist's office. I look around the room. Three of the walls are mirrors except for the one where the door is. I look at my reflection. My strawberry blonde hair is loose and is a bit uncomfortable to lie on so I take it and twist it to the side so it can hang from the side of my head so the tip reaches the place where my canary yellow shirt is tucked into orange loose fitting pants.

This is not my color. I look monochromatic. My hair my clothes my shoes even my skin are all on the red scale like orange and yellow. I look sickly. And the fact that I'm as thin as a reed doesn't help my image.

The only thing that isn't a mix between red and yellow is my eyes. Light green with a darker edge around the Iris. I look dull. Plain. No shape no form.

My eyes are pulled from my reflection to the glass vial that was pushed in front of my face.

"Drink up." I comply though hesitantly as I eye the clear liquid. I mean they wouldn't poison an 18 year old dependent right. Right?

Oh man that tastes horrible. I grimace as Andrea takes the vial from me. I turn my head to ask her what the hell she just made me drink but am startled to see her gone.

I look down. I'm standing. I don't remember getting up. What the hell?

"Choose!" I swirl on my feet trying to locate the voice, but there's nobody.

I look around again, two pedestals catch my attention. On one there lays cheese. On the other lays a knife.

'Choose' I think. Well I don't know where I am nor for how long I'll be here for so having something to eat might be a good idea. But then I also don't know who or what else is here and if I'll have to defend myself.

Hastily I grab the knife. Just as I do the pedestals disappear. I look around frowning. I have to admit this is the weirdest moment in my life… not that I have that many weird moments in life. Well there was that one time but I uhh I'm still not sure how true everything was that I saw.

Movement to my right caught my attention. A dog. Not just a dog a growling slobbering hound with it's fur raised and its gnarly teeth directed at me.

I take a step back my heart dropping into my stomach and my pulse jumping.

With every step I take backwards the dog comes a step closer. The next thing I know I'm running. 'What to do what to do...' I keep asking myself when I remember the weight in my hand. The knife.

I stop dead in my tracks and dodge to the side. The dog skidding past me. We stare each other down. I'm already lifting the knife to defend myself as the dog rushes me again.

I can hear the squelch of the guts and skin giving in to the knife's sharp edge.

I blink and I'm back in the room. My breath is labored, my chest heaving. I can hear my blood gushing in my ears.

' A simulation. The test was a stupid simulation.'

I look towards Andrea. She smiles at me and says " Congratulations. Your test results are Dauntless. When you're ready you may head back to the cafeteria. Remember no discussing your results with anyone. Your decision should be yours alone."

I frown. 'If it's my 'own' decision then why bother with aptitude tests?'

Having calmed a little I make my way back towards the cafeteria. My place has been occupied since my departure but a new place is quickly made between Sky and Lila.

Sky and Lila are twins and also my neighbors. Our parents work together in the packaging warehouse of Amity. So we live in houses near the warehouse. Unlike other families that share a communal shed/hut with like 10 families. The horror.

Anyhow we grew up together, but that doesn't mean we're friends. Well for me at least. If you were to ask them we are absolute besties forever and ever.

Sighing I sit between them. My personal bubble being invaded by all this happy crap. I just want to be alone. Think about my results. I can't concentrate with all of the yapping and chanting in my ears.

Shaking my head, even though I'm worried about the choosing ceremony tomorrow I'm quickly blanking my mind from that and try to seem normal. I'm usually considered quiet. But I do know how to blend in. I'm not an idiot.

When everyone has had their chance at the test we make our way home. Being from Amity most of us have over an hour's bus ride home. Maybe longer if you live closer to the farms which is a ways past the fence

There are a few Amity that live in the city. Those that became care takers or gardeners etc.

On the ride we pass by a bunch of Factionless clothed in mismatched clothes like a see of rainbows. Dirty, hungry and sad looking rainbows.

'God I'm such a downer' I lower my head to the seat's back in front of me and close my eyes. I don't want to be Factionless. Staying in Amity can assure that. I know who everyone is. I know my way around., I know how to pass the initiation. I know that they won't cut me unless I'm the opposite to peace and kindness and immune to the peace serum to boot. I'll probably have an assured job at the warehouse even. But I won't belong.

But my aptitude test corresponds with my thoughts of becoming Dauntless. But the simulation. Was that a test of bravery. I didn't feel brave killing that dog. I felt desperate, wanting to stay alive. Cruel for being able to do that and ashamed of having someone so selfless see me being so desperate to save my own selfish ass.

But where else am I going to go.

I'm not selfless. In fact I'm quite selfish. I always think of things in a matter of how that could help ME or be good for ME.

I'm also not smart. I can read and understand what they want and I've always done well on tests but I don't want to do all that work for fun. I did in school because I had to.

I'm not honest. Oh God's no. I lie all the damn time. I even lie to myself. If lying was a disease I'd be dead by now.

I'm not kind. I mean I just killed a damn dog, not a real one but I didn't know that. But there are many examples. None that I want to discuss now though.

So I must be brave. I've always loved climbing the tallest trees jumping into the deepest lake. Stealing serum free snacks ( ok that's not brave but I'm the only one who had enough guts to do it so). But if I join Dauntless. I'll have to fight people. Go on patrols keep the Factionless under control. Keep the Factions away from each other's throats.

Can I do that. Am I brave enough to protect the people I love with my life?

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Newbies**_

Dinner was for once a quiet affair. What with one older sibling and three younger ones the house was rarely quiet. I used to have 3 older siblings.

My oldest brother Casden joined Erudite three years ago. Then my third oldest sibling William just disappeared. We were born in the same year. 10 months apart. He was born in January me in November. We would be choosing together if he were still here.

Currently at the table is my older sister, Isabella, me, the twins that are two years younger than me Charlotte and Amelia. Then last but not least the last Lamb of the family. Jayden who turned four last month.

I was surprised to find out that my parents were pregnant… again. But they married the second they passed initiation and had Casden.

"So what will you be wearing tomorrow dear?" my mom asks. I look over towards where she is sitting next to our father. I wished I looked more like my mother. Out of all my siblings only Will and I look like my father. The rest of my siblings all resemble my mother. Her dark chocolate brown hair. Bronzed skin and dark eyes. Her soft and curvy features are breathtakingly beautiful.

Unfortunately I got my father's redish hair. Invisible eyebrows and a shit ton of freckles. A jawline to kill and as flat as a board. A very unattractive board at that.

I sigh. And answer her "No I haven't thought about it. Why?"

My mother looks at me exasperated. "Come on Anya. You don't want to make the same mistake as Issy do you? You have to snatch a good husband on the first day of initiation. Unless you and Sky have something going on and there's nothing to be worried about. Hmm?"

I look at her trying to figure out if she was serious. She is. Dead serious. "Mom why would make you think I have any interest in being with Sky… and what do you mean same mistake as Issy?"

My dad laughs. Only shaking his head at my mother. Telling her to not bother me anymore.

"I think you should head to bed young lady tomorrow will be a long day." My dad says smiling at me. My stomach flutters. Will he be ok with me leaving.

I've always been a daddy's girl. He took it quite hard when Casden left. He completely shut down for a while when Will disappeared. I don't know how he'll react to me leaving.

My mom I'm not worried about. She just moves on with a smile and a chitter, I think it's a coping mechanism but if it works what can you do. My siblings all have their own world and lives. I'm just their sister. In fact I'm sure they'll be happy if I leave. This is only a 3 bedroom house. We moved to a smaller house after Will disappeared. Other families need the space more than we do. So now the twins could have their own room if Jayden took my place in Issy's room.

Nodding I say my goodnights to everyone and head to my room. A clear difference can be seen between my half and my sister's half.

Mine is neat, organized and minimalistic. Issy's side is wild, unmade and clustered. Apparently she doesn't have the time to clean. She does have time for sexcapades in cornfields though. Which honestly sounds disgusting and horrifying all at once. I mean spiders and dirt in certain places and just no.

I quickly wash up tying my hair up in a knot above my head and getting under the covers. Closing my eyes as tight as they would go. I know I'm not staying in Amity. No way am I punishing myself like that. I'm much too selfish to stay in Amity for other people.

I'm definitely going to Dauntless. I have been obsessed with them ever since Will's disappearance and even my aptitude test says I'll fit there. What other reasons do l need for going.

I eventually drift off to sleep.

I'm awoken the next morning by a flurry of rushed words hair and clothes hitting me in the face. "Time to wake up now. Anya. Remember what I told you last night. We don't want you ending up back home with us after initiation. You should get married as soon as possible. But first we have to get you presentable first!"

I'm still a bit unfocussed as a cup of orange juice is thrust into my hands for me to drink while Charlotte gets to putting my hair in a loose Dutch braid, braiding in a few clusters of baby breaths. My mom throws a long red dress at me. The ends are embroidered with yellow and white delicate looking flowers.

When done I blanch at my reflection. I look ready for a wedding. If only the dress was white… my mother wasn't kidding was she?

Huffing I push them away from me and out the door, mumbling excuses for wanting a moment alone.

The moment I'm alone I undress and put on a shorter red dress. A knee length A cut dress made with practicality in mind. Pretty as well but much more practical. Under the dress I'm wearing red shorts. Can't expect to jump from trains and such without flashing some poor soul.

I also pluck most of the flowers from my hair. I'm trying to not look like I'm from Amity. But everything about me screams Amity. From my clothes to my hair to my endless insecurity.

Putting on a pair of off white flats I make my way downstairs where my parents and older sister is waiting for me. No one under 18 is allowed in the hub during the choosing ceremony so my younger siblings aren't allowed to come with.

My mom looks disappointed at my change of clothes but stays quiet after my father shot her a stern look. My father can really be strict sometimes. I once asked him if he was a transfer. He simply looked me in the eyes glanced at my mother, stood up and walked away.

I took that as a yes. I don't know from what faction he transferred though but I would love to know.

Before I knew it we were all seated on a bus making our way towards the city. I was seated between my father and Issy. He looks down at me and smiles. He whispers for only me to hear "I support your decision Anya, no matter what it may be. You know I love you very much." He looks at me with a true smile filled with real kindness from the heart.

My father's words kept echoing in my mind as we made our way into the hub, as we took our seats and as one after the other name was called. Since they were going from the bottom up my name was the fifth to be called right after Wilson.

"Willow Anya-Marie"

I get up on shaky legs and make my way to the front of the room. Accepting the blade handed to me I quickly cut my palm and let my blood sizzle over the hot coals representing Dauntless.

I don't look back to see their faces as I walk towards the sea of black applauding my decision to choose their faction.

After sitting for a while in silence before I sneak a peak at my parents. My mom is sitting quietly looking at the current person up front whose turn it is to choose. My sister though is sitting with her head down. I can make out the slight tremble in her shoulders that shows she's crying.

I'm shocked by my father's reaction as our eyes meet. He's smirking at me. A glint in his deep green eyes. He winks at me and turns his head back towards the stage where an Erudite boy has chosen to come to Dauntless as well.

We're already at 'C' there's not many kids left to choose. The next thing I know 'Albert' gets called to choose and once the closing speech is given the Dauntless start pushing through the doors. I don't even have the time to look back before I'm taken by the arms and dragged along the crowd.

We're spilling through the Hub's doors like a black mass. They all scatter but the hands attached to my arms keep dragging me towards the train tracks.

This is it I've made my choice. I feel my adrenaline rush as I reach the top of the platform. I can feel the platform rattling from the oncoming train.

It slows down a bit for the bend before it reaches our platform. Once past the platform it'll start to gain speed again. I see the other members start runny. I'm running along the platform just behind a candor boy and a Erudite girl. The train rushes past much faster than I realized it would.

I see the other two transfers jump in. Another transfer passes me and jumps in too. I look behind me and see like 20 transfers behind me.

I pick up my pace once I'm parallel to the open door I fling myself up and in. I land harshly on my side and crash into the Erudite boy that over took me earlier.

He just grunts and pushes me off of him. Smartly we both move over towards the corner by the door to allow the other transfers a chance to fling themselves inside.

We're standing shoulders together (actually my shoulder against his bicep but whatever) when I see the platform disappear. Unfortunately the candor girl that was still chasing the opened door didn't. We were too high up and at an awkward angle to see her body meet the pavement below.

I frown. Luckily the guy behind her stopped in time. Already two initiates lost. My eyes focus to everyone in the cart. There are 15 of us.

Out of the 15 transfers there is 6 from Erudite, 5 from Candor, 3 from Amity and 1 from Abnegation.

I recognize the other two former Amity. They are standing close to each other as if friends, but they look like total opposites. The scrawny one is Cain. He reminds me of a rat. Not to sound mean but he looks like the type of person that'll chop you up into itty bitty pieces because it looked like fun.

Berthold looks like he eats an ox and a half for breakfast every morning. To be honest I don't know how he manages to wipe his ass with biceps like those. There's no way he can even scratch his own ears.

To be honest I barely remember any of these kids. I know I went to school with them but then again we are almost 150 dependants on average a year.

I sit and look them over. A few faces look familiar. But no names come to mind to match the faces. Some look promising and others seem more shocked by their own choice of faction than they should.

The train ride was over quickly as someone yells out that they're jumping again. Shocked I look to see and yip. This is Dauntless alright. Jumping from a moving train over a 7 story drop on to a rooftop.

I get up and notice the Erudite boy that was sitting next to me get up as well standing next to me he runs and jump. I'm close to follow. I barely miss falling on top of another girl. I come to a rolling stop, my hands and knees throbbing. I look up I jumped quite the distance. Unfortunately the cry of despair tells me someone didn't.

I get up with a grimace. Maybe wearing a knee length dress wasn't such a good idea. Should've worn long pants. Now too late though.

My attention is caught by a dark skinned man standing on the edge of the roof.

"Welcome initiates."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Untitled**_

The man introduced himself as Max. And I don't know much about except he's loony. He wants us to jump off a 7 story building.

"Alright who's first?" He asks.

I'm definitely not going to jump first. How do I know that they won't let someone jump then tell us to not blindly follow orders and that is stupidity not bravery and oh my God I don't want to die.

A few wary murmurs escape their lips but nobody cares say anything out loud.

I stand still avoiding eye contact with everybody but keeping my shoulders square. A few seconds pass as we all stand in silence. In total there seems to be thirty initiates. It's not long until a Dauntless born steps up onto the ledge.

I can see his hands shaking. He turns back and it looks like he wants to chicken out but his words of 'never mind I'll go next' dies on his lips as Max gives him a hard push. He doesn't even scream, just a breathless exhale. Shock written on his pale face.

I almost gasp. But I can see everybody's shoulders tensing. I few of the initiates cry out, gasp even stumble forward in an aborted move to somehow help.

Two initiates who is most likely his friends rush to the ledge looking down. Well I haven't heard the smack of a body meeting the pavement yet, but I also didn't hear him hitting water or anything. Either the hole goes down so deep the noise won't reach us or he landed on something soft or flexible.

"Well I'm waiting. If nobody's volunteering I'll just have to throw you off." Max's face is serious and twisted into a bitter scowl.

Before I know it a line has formed I'm pushed behind someone and one after the other initiates jump.

Second to go is the sole Abnegation boy after him the Erudite boy who sat next to me on the train. Then a few Dauntless born and a few transfers and before I know I'm up front. I'm probably about the tenth person to go. I take my time getting up on the ledge. The wind is quite strong but I'm not worried. The hole is actually quite large so there's no worries about missing in. I am worried about breaking my neck.

If it's water I'll have to dive. If it's a net I'll have to fall and keep my body limp…

They should just tell us why the hell is down there.

"Today Initiate!" Max yells from beside me.

Without thinking I turn around and fall backwards. I hate this feeling. My stomach dropping and my head buzzing. I can hear the wind's whistle in my ears and the rush of air traveling my body.

Barely a second later and my body meets it's resistance. I bounce a few times realizing it is a net. Two stories below the hole. The net is tipped and I'm rolling towards the hand trying to help me from the net.

"Name initiate?" a pretty blonde asks me. Well not all blonde there's crazy colored stripes on one side that is spiked up and the other side is shaved. She reminds me of a particularly multi colored cockatoo . Is that strange?

Without thinking I mumble "Cockatoo".

She glances at me stunned. "Your name is Cockatoo?"

I blush and stumble my very lame sorry, "Nnoo. It's Anya uhh…"

Before I can even think about trying to apologize she turns and yells, "Initiate Anya!"

A loud roar of applause, whistles and cheers meet my ears. She pushes me forward to stand with other initiates just as I reach them a screeching is meeting my ears as another initiate descends upon the net.

My attention is drawn away from the boy bouncing on the net to the girl dressed in blue standing next to me, "So uh Cockatoo was it?" she smirks at me.

I blush knowing how I must look to her. Like a tomato most probably. All red and stupid. "No it's Anya. I was actually thinking how her hair reminds me of parrots and thought about what a colorful cockatoo would look like." I answer honestly, trying to explain my wayward thoughts.

Behind us someone snorts but we ignore them.

The girl looks at me and smiles, "I like you. Name's Olive."

I smile back and shake her proffered hand. We stand next to each other waiting for everyone to jump when lastly Max jumps and is helped of the net as well.

Our attention is drawn to a new man standing by what looks to be doors. "Alright initiates listen up. My name is Amar and that is Evelyn." He says as he points to cockatoo lady.

"I'll be your trainer and instructor for the duration of your initiation. Only for the transfers though. Dauntless born you are with Evelyn. You may go with her now since you hopefully don't need a tour of the compound."

He looks back towards us as all the Dauntless born leaves the area through the doors following Evelyn.

"Alright now if you'll follow me." Amar turns and head out the doors as well. I follow behind Amar with Olive next to me looking around.

Amar shows us The Pit which was aptly named. From there he shows us where to locate shops and the mess hall. From there we follow him through dark twisting hallways sparsely lighted by blue (frankly useless) lamps to our dorm.

He pulls the large steel door to the side and shows us 8 old iron vintage bunk beds lining the walls on either side of the dark cavernous room. Directly opposite the door and on the other side of the room is what I'm assuming the bathrooms.

It's open concept all the way. Everything is visible. There are pillars all throughout the room. It's can only be described as cold and eerie.

We trickle in choosing our beds.

There is four bunks lining each wall one pushed into the corner then a drawer then two bunk beds pushed together to create a makeshift double bed. Then the last one before the pillars that devide the sleeping area from the bathrooms… uhg.

I do not look forward to my shower. At the entrance tables have been lined with clothes, we are told that a designated amount of points will be given to each initiate to buy necessities. We're told to find our size and get dressed. Once done to head to the mess hall.

Quietly Olive and I take the pushed together bunks on the right after getting our clothes. Olive the top and me at the bottom. We share our chest of drawers with the bunk pushed into the corner where two candor girls Anna and Trina have taken place. Both seem nice but very reserved. Strange for former Candors.

Another girl Erudite takes the top bunk next to Olive. They seem to know each other I'm quickly introduced and her name turns out to be Tulip. It suits her with her bright eyes and dark skin. But she tells is to call her Tula. She doesn't want to sound Amity-ish…

I look around and see the Abnegation boy take the bunk farthest from the door on the right. Nobody shares with him though.

Another girl comes to us and introduces herself as Stella. After I get dressed I realize all the girls have clustered together on the right side of the room. Well and the Abnegation boy, I can't help but think he'll have a hard time here.

I don't know any of the boys but there are 9 of them to our 6. My eyes catch the Erudite boy looking at me as he talks to Berthold. I frown suspiciously. Are they talking about me?

I'm not given much time to solve that little mystery as we're all rushed to the mess hall. On our way we are told to bring our old clothes to be thrown into the incinerator. Way to go literal Dauntless. Burning our last physical tie to our previous faction.

Us transfers stick together as find seats. The mess hall is filled with benches that could seat 8 people. We find a bench quick enough and get seated. It's me, Olive, Tula, Stella, two Candor boys and the Abnegation boy.

Jeremy and Tim are childhood friends and have always dreamed of coming to Dauntless since practically babies. The Abnegation boy introduces himself as Tobi. He seems sweet but not Dauntless at all. But then again I can't point any fingers knowing I look as misplaced as he does.

Tobi is seated in front of me and as I start to dish I look up when I notice he's not dishing for himself. Instead he looks at the food as if it's going to bite him.

"You ok?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

Before he can answer me though Tula starts explaining how the Abney only eat 'bland' foods. Tobi ducks his as he if ashamed. I shrug and scoop a hamburger I to his plate wordlessly. If he's not gonna a dish for himself he's not gonna have food. Jeremy and Tim have already eaten 6 burgers between them.

Quietly he takes a bit and I smile taking a bite of my own. Conversation soon starts on what to expect from initiation to new clothes to tattoos.

"Ohh I would like a tattoo." Olive says looking excited at the prospect of one. She turns towards me with big eyes, "We can get one together. Let's go tonight. Ohh or maybe a piercing. I've always wanted my ears pierced." Olive prattles on.

"We don't want to have anything to tear out for our sparring partners when we fight do we?" I ask with a sarcastic lilt.

Olive looks dejected but is happy again once I tell her tattoos are still a possibility. But only tomorrow and depending on when physical training will take place.

After eating our attention is drawn to the platform above the mess hall where Max stands with 4 other people flanking him.

We get a speech about the simple act of bravery and the values of Dauntless as a faction. Everybody's cheering at the end soon all the initiates are lifted in the air and carried along the members of Dauntless.

I laugh along everybody. A few seconds later and we're put back down. When I reunite with Olive and Tula we make our way towards the shops.

It's only 7 at night and we're expected in the pit tomorrow at 6.

Still a lot of time. We get drawn to a store selling what seems to be lingerie. Olive drags my blushing self towards racks containing tubes and pallets. Make-up. Before I know it my hands are filled with black coal, brown pencils and lip gloss. They try to convince me to get something more than 'just panties' and 3 pieces of make-up.

I quickly check out and wait for them outside. Once they're done we make our way to the next shop. I get myself three pairs of black leggings and a deep purple tank top. A long black T-shirt with dark blue skinny jeans. Then lastly a tight fitting black shirt with green vintage fatigue pants. I also take a short for me to sleep in.

After we're done we make our way back to the dorm. We each choose a drawer where we put our clothes, soap and my make-up.

I can wear all the shirts and leggings as well as my fatigue pants to physical training and my jeans for times like now. I put on my jeans and t-shirt with my combat boots they gave us before Olive teaches me how to apply the makeup she made me buy.

In Amity it's all about natural beauty. Unfortunately not something I have. 2 Minutes later and I have light brown eyebrows, coal lined eyes that make the green pop along with plump glossy lips.

After that we make our way towards the pit which was pulsating with the bass of a loud song playing from somewhere. We meet up with Stella who had gotten a tattoo in any case. We all ooh and aah at the tiny flames she had tattooed behind her ear.

We all get into dancing and just having fun. I feel like I belong for once. Like I won't be lonely here. It already feels more like home to me than my real one has ever felt.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

_**Torture**_

It's the first day of initiation. And they are making us sit in a hallway. Stella was called to enter the room at the end of the hallway first. She's been in there for half an hour now.

Amar had explained that the first part of initiation is emotionally. The second part physically and the last part of training will be mentally.

I understand physically. We have to be able to defend ourselves either by fighting or wielding weapons when on patrol or guarding the fence.

Mentally too I guess. If I have to stab, shoot or kill somebody to protect myself I'll have to be mentally prepared for that. Nobody wants an unstable person wielding a gun in the streets.

But emotionally. I thought Dauntless didn't do 'sappy stuff's like emotions. We're supposed to be brave and headstrong.

I look up when the two Dauntless members standing guard in front off the door gets called inside the room by Amar. A second later the come back out dragging a sniffling heap of Stella. She's murmuring like a mad woman. Something about giant moths eating her.

Once they disappear around the corner all the initiates turn towards each other contemplating what had happened.

I sit there eyes wide wondering what they could have done to her. As I sit and listen to Olive's theories Amar sticks his head out and calls another initiate.

"Eric, your up."

My eyes jump towards the Erudite boy who had gotten my attention from the moment I fell on him when I jumped on to the train. When he was talking about me (I'm sure of it) to Berthold. So now I knew his name. Eric. It suits him. It's a strong name. He's tall. Well muscled but he doesn't seem like he'll stop growing anytime soon though.

After another 20 minutes or so he comes stumbling out of the room. He looks like he wants to pound someone's face in. Everyone has quieted down by now. Eric rushes past us and down the hall he goes.

One after the other initiate gets called in. All coming out looking either spooked, afraid or horrified. I've been sitting here for 5 hours before Amar comes out and tells us it's time for lunch.

When we get to the mess hall the other initiates who has been in the room are nowhere to be seen. Since it's only me, Tobi, Tula and an Erudite boy named Aaron left we sit together in silence. We don't really feel like talking, too worried about what awaits us in the room.

After lunch we head back. Before I can take my seat though Amar calls me inside. I feel my stomach drop and fear I'm going to be sick and throw up. I quickly swallow the bill rising in my throat when I notice the same dentist looking chair that I had to sit in for the aptitude test.

I look towards Amar asking, "A simulation?"

Amar merely nods and waves his hands towards the chair motioning for me to lay down while fumbling with the computer.

Amar comes to stand by my head and moves my hair to the side and injects something into my neck.

"This is a serum that stimulates the part of your brain called the amygdala. Specifically it'll be stimulating your brain into a simulation where you'll face your fears. Everyone has on average about 10 to 15 fears. The simulation will end when you either overcome your fear it trick the sim I to thinking you overcame your fear my getting you breathing and pulse to normal conditions." Amar explains to me. He then moves to a chair and hooks himself up to the monitor.

He presses a few buttons and fir a few seconds nothing happens. When I look to see if everything is fine Amar is gone.

I get up from the chair and look around. I didn't hear him leave. I go to the door and open it. There's no one. Maybe everyone left while I was under the sim.

I walk through the winding hallways. I make my way to the pit. The dorms. The mess hall. Empty. Everything is empty.

The entire compound has been evacuated. I start to worry. Maybe there was a fire drill or something. I don't smell any smoke nor do I see anything. In any case they wouldn't just leave me there to die would they.

I start running through the halls trying to find a way out. I can't trust these people. I've barely known them for a day. They're not really my friends. I'm nobody to them obviously if they would just abandon me like this.

Why does this always happen to me. First my brother. My only true friend. Then my other so called 'friends'. They all talked dirty about me behind my back. Thinking our family is not peaceful since they all thought he committed suicide. No one even offered to help find him. They just all turned their backs and made their assumptions.

Now this. My new friends. My new faction. They all just left me. Alone. Alone in this compound.

I've Bern running for what feels like hours eventually I just can't. I can't do this anymore. I reach the pit again.

I sag to the ground. I'm lying on the floor crying like the pathetic child I am. I don't understand what I did wrong. Why they would just forget me here.

I sit in the center of the pit. After a while I try to calm down to think rationally. I close my eyes and take slow deep breaths. First off I need to find a way out. Once I open my eyes again I'm back in the simulation room. I frown looking around. I see Amar sitting in the stool.

I get up from the chair hastily and almost keel over. Amar helps me stay upright as he tells me to calm down.

"It was merely a simulation. Your first fear seems to be abandonment. In the sim you calmed yourself to think clearly but the sim thought that since you're calmer you overcame that fear. That's why the sim stopped." He explains to me in a soft tone.

He moves to let go of my arm as he checks the monitor.

"You were in there for 36 minutes. That's a very long time to be in there. But that's why we're doing this so you'll get used to this and over time you're time will improve."

I barely listen as Amar speaks to me. I'm still shaken up about my sim. I never realized that I even have abandonment issues. I'm soon shown to the door where I make my way past the remaining initiates. When I get to the dorm I can see everyone is grouped up. Some trying (but failing) to sleep it off, others crying (Stella) and most of them seems to just sit there in a daze.

Olive is sitting with Stella on her bed. I get on mine and lie down facing them. They both give me strained smiles.

"What was yours?" asks Stella softly as not to disturb the other initiates.

"Abandonment apparently." I answer her. "Yours?"

Stella gets a far off look before answering me, "Giant moths." I want to think she's joking but her face is dead serious and I'm actually afraid of what's happening in her mind right now.

I look expectantly towards Olive. "Bleeding to death out of all my orifices." I give her a Disturbed look. She looks away abashed hurriedly explaining her fear, "I had some awful nosebleeds when I was younger. Sometimes my nose won't stop bleeding and I actually passed out once from all the blood loss."

After that we continue talking. Eventually Tula joins us. Her fear was drowning.

That night I couldn't sleep. With the thoughts of my fears and the upcoming sims and everybody tossing and turning around me it was practically impossible to get myself to sleep.

Eventually I got up and wandered around for a bit. I eventually came to what looked like a gigantic training room. It had a full sized track, obstacle course, fighting rings, gym equipment for at least 50 people and more. Movement caught my eye.

I moved forwards to see who it was. Running the track was Eric he started running slower when he was approaching me.

"You gonna stand and stare like a weirdo or are you gonna join me?" he asks with lift of his eyebrow.

Nodding, even though he has passed me by now I fall in behind him. Our boots tapping out a rhythm between our huffing breaths (mine mostly).

And so the entire month went. We'd be tortured by our fears during the day, at night I'll run, and sometimes I'll do something else like weights or give the punching bag a go to warm up for my midnight running sessions with Eric. We never talked except for when he made fun of me trying to punch the bags and him of handedly correcting my stances and techniques.

Turns out my fears are as follows.

Abandonment

Ending up Factionless

Centipede invading my body

Kidnapped

Public humiliation

Struck by Lightning

Chickens

Being buried alive

Spiders

Losing someone close to me

Killing my family

11 Fears. Amar says that's a totally normal amount of fears. For me it was quite the eye opener.

For one I didn't know I was such a big wuss. Secondly Tobi got a new nickname. Four. Amar started calling him that after the second week as it turns out he only has 4 fears.

Imagine only having 4 fears. At least my time has improved. It only takes me on average 20 minutes to get over my fear. Depends which ones though. Like if I'm being buried alive it takes me 8 minutes to calm down. Whereas I shoot my 4 year old brother and me freaking out like a lunatic takes me up to 25 minutes to calm down.

I can't say I'm not completely hating initiation though. I even got a tattoos. A lotus flower on my hip. The lotus flower has always been my favorite. But I still put it somewhere easy to hide. I think getting flowery tattoos is a bit too Amity but I really wanted it.

I got another one just yesterday. A detailed dreamcatcher in my back. It begins at my hairline and goes down just past my shoulder blades. It was hella painful but worth it.

But tonight was no different than any other. I had my fear sim. Hung out with Olive and Tula afterwards faked going to bed only to lie in wait for midnight. Eric didn't even bother faking going to bed he'd be here between supper and everybody going to bed then he'd just disappear. Sometimes I saw Four leave as well but that's because he made friends with some of the Dauntless born, Shauna and Zeke.

I made my way towards the training room. I was dressed in my sleeping shorts and my purple tank top with my combat boots, I thought being underground and all would stave off the summer heat, boy was I wrong.

I stepped into the training room my eyes automatically searching for Eric. We've become sort of friends. Only in private though. When others were around he wouldn't even look my way. He also hung out with Berthold all the time. I hate Berthold and his rat that he thinks of as a friend.

I finally notice him standing in one of the fighting rings. I make me way over. As I come to stand next to the ring he motions me forward. I stepped in the ring doing as told.

"Take off your shoes and wrap this around your hands and wrists." He says while handing me a roll of white tape.

My stomach flutters knowing what's to come. We've never sparred before. I'm kind of worried he'll beat me in a pulp but I can't back out now. Quietly I bend down taking off my boots and putting them to the side I start wrapping my hand but I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. Eric notices that I'm doing it wrong, sighs, and takes over wrapping my hands.

He takes my hand and a shiver runs up my spine. I don't know when this silly crush started but I'm not happy with it. It's distracting. I can't help but notice him all the time. What he's doing. Who he's with. Where he is.

My stomach always flutters when he gets close enough that I can smell him. His touch always a shiver that shoots through me. And when looks at me I can feel my cheeks going aflame. I hate it when I blush. Red face plus red hair is not a good combination.

When he's done wrapping my hands he steps back and takes on a fighting stance. Without hesitation I do the same. He makes the first move jabbing me where I forget to keep covered and protected.

I hit back but almost none of the land and the few times they do he just shrugs it of as if I'm an annoying mosquito bothering him. We go back and forth working up to more difficult maneuvers. After maybe an hour of this and my hands and wrists are screaming at me. My shins are purple and blue from my kicks. Yet Eric looks like he hasn't even warmed up yet.

To be honest he looks a little bored. So without thinking (I should really stop doing the whole no thinking things through thing) I lunge and try to get him into a choke lock. It almost worked but the next thing I know I'm thrown over his shoulder. My back meeting the mat with a loud smack.

The combination of having the wind knocked out of me and my fresh tattoo taking such a hit leaves me gasping. Above me o see Eric crouched over my head with a smirk.

"Well that wasn't half bad. You almost had me there." He says. Then he frowns upon realizing I'm not answering him instead I'm still gasping for air. "You ok?" he asks sounding slightly worried.

I nod whilst trying to sit up. He helps me and starts to rub my back, I hiss and pull away feeling as if fire was licking at my back.

Eric frowns, "Should I take you to the infirmary?"

"No" I shake my head, "It's just my tattoo." I explain through labored breaths.

His eyes light up and before I can even say anything he's lifting my shirt up exposing my back to his eyes. I quickly grab the front to at least keep a bit of decency. I can feel my blush traveling up my neck to my ears. Jeez. Overreacting much.

I jump as I feel his finger on my shoulder blade. Not touching the tattoo at least but my entire body decides to go full on goosebumps.

Not long after he let's my shirt drop, he pulls on his boots and moves towards the track starting at a jog. Fumbling I pull on my boots as well starting on my own jog at a much slower pace. My mind going a mile a minute yet going nowhere.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5:**_

_**Scores.**_

On the last day of the month we're all told to head to the dorms after supper. As we wait for the rest of the initiates to come back from supper.

My eyes catch Eric's form as he moves comes through the door and heads to his bed. Opposite the candor girl's beds. Pushed into the corner on the left.

I frown at myself. Why am I so stupid. I've never been so lovesick. Not that I'm i love with him. To be honest I don't know why I even like him.

He's always rude and dismisses you before you can even say something. He's better when we're alone but still not what you'll call 'being nice' but it's probably his version of nice. And I think that's what's drawing me in.

The fact that he's being kind of nice to me and not having me thrown into the chasm was comforting. But it can't be just that. All the nights I hang out with Olive and Tula sometimes a whole bunch of is initiates Dauntless-born and all lots of the guys used to be and talk to me. For a while Aaron seemed interested in me since we always had our sims after lunch so we would regularly spend lunch time together. Well that used to be the case. Not a week later and he started ignoring me and sitting at tables alone.

I blame it on him having almost 20 fears. When we were discussing how many fears when have he admitted to having 19 fears so far, and still counting.

I clanced in his direction. He was standing by Drake's bed. Drake was another transfer from Erudite. He looks like he'll snap in two if he were to sneeze. Drake is a very thin delicate looking boy. I know I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. But the only way I can think of him being in Dauntless is by some form of a miracle.

I'm ripped from my thoughts as Max slides the door closed with a loud bang of metal against stone. It seems all the initiates have arrived.

Amar moves to stand in front of the closed door a black board resting against his legs. The writing not visible to us. "Alright initiates. As you know you've been having fear sims every day for the last month. Today was your last day." He says looking us over.

Everybody heaves a sigh of relief. Amar looks like he wants to laugh at us, but continues with a glint in his eyes, "Next will be physical training. Where you'll be trained to fight and handle weapons. You'll have another month of that. But there's a catch. Only the top 25 initiates gets to go through the last part of initiation."

In less than a second the entire room is swallowed in tension. They're cutting us.

Hurriedly Stella speaks up flustered, "Why are you only telling us this now. When should have known."

Max looks at her a snarl pulling at his lips, "If you had known then what? Would you have chosen differently? You chose us. Now we get to choose you. We don't have time to babysit brats. We need brave and capable soldiers."

Stella steps back. She wasn't going to argue with a leader. At least she's not that stupid.

After a tense beat Amar continues, " After that is the last part of initiation. The fear landscapes. But then you'll know that it is merely a simulation, but you'll have to be mentally prepared to overcome your fears. Only the top 20 initiates gets to stay in Dauntless and become full members.

I try to swallow, but my throat is too dry. I can feel my body shaking. This is one of my fears. Becoming Factionless. I don't want to be Factionless.

Amar lifts the board and hangs it from a nail on the door. The order and average time is shown as follows.

• Four - 04:06 min

• Eric - 07:08 min

• Stella – 07:56

• Berthold – 08:03

• Anna – 08:019

• Jeff - 09:00

• Cain – 09:16

• Aaron – 09:50

• Drake – 10:20

• Trina – 11:00

• Anya – 11:50

• Tula – 12:06

• Olive – 12:15

• Dustin – 12:16

• Alex – 39:09

I look towards Alex with a start, he's way behind. Like way behind. I don't know him but I can only imagine what his fears must be.

I must say though four is one brave dude. He's way below everyone and has the least fears.

That night me, Olive, Tula and Stella hit the pit. We're given the next two days off tomorrow is visiting day and Monday we begin the new phase of training. Only then do I realize I've been training with Eric for an entire month. It only started with running then me trying to get rid of my frustrations by hitting the bags, then Eric decided I'm not doing it correctly and from there on he's been helping me. But what has the other initiates done.

The last month I've only been trying to keep myself distracted and tire myself out to a point of dreamless sleeping. I never thought of the benefits towards my physical part of training. In fact when I sparred with Eric my mynd was more on how gently he's touching me while correcting my stances or how good he smells when he comes close enough.

Ugghh I should get my head out of the gutter and into the game. Right now I don't know what my skill levels are since I only know what I can do and what I've seen of Eric.

We eventually return to the door at one in the morning tired as all hell. I make my way to the bathroom to wash off and get into my sleeping shorts and my black tee.

Im contimplating on wether to go to the training room or sleep. I am tired but I don't want to not show up. Eric isn't in his bed. But I also don't know if he's out with Berthold since his and Cain's bed is empty as well.

Quietly I slip back out the room after getting my boots on again. I make my way towards the training room but I don't feel like walking through the pit so I take a detour through the chasm.

I can hear the roar of the water hitting the bottom rocks. As I cross the metal walkway I look down at the jagged rocks sticking up from the cotton like blanket of mist and streams. A shiver runs down my spine. I'm suddenly chilled to the bone as I quickly walk across. Just as I'm going to enter the hallway for the training room I'm grabbed from behind.

I yell out on instinct. A hand is quickly clasped over my mouth and I'm being dragged away. Whoever is holding me is strong. Way stronger than me. I'm taken to an alcove back in the chasm.

Suddenly I'm dropped and I'm plopped down on the wet stones. I look up and meet the eyes of Berthold. Behind him stands Cain smirking. I frown and yell, "What the hell is wrong with you!"

Before I can utter another word Cain has come to push me back dowm and hold me down as Berthold starts to fondle me through my clothes.

Shocked I want to scream but nothing comes out.

A sick smile plastered to his face as he watches his hand, "Well aren't you a naughty slut. Every night you disappear and come back looking all flushed and sexy. Do you think it's fair to tease me like that?" he wispers in my ear. Yip this dude's crazy.

I start to fight yelling out as realization crashes into my thoughts. These crazy bastards wants to rape me.

Berthy gets an ugly snarl as I manage to get a good kick in and scratch at Cain's face. "Stop fighting this Anya. I told you I wanted you back then and you just wrote me off. We're destined to be together. We're both from Amity both chse Dauntless. We can make a good team."

He's trying to sound reassuring but with his snarl and pained expression it comes out more like the threat it is.

Decideing I've had enough of this I go limp. The moment I do Berthold smiles at me.

Im trying to calm my breathing when I smile shyly up at him, "You know I've always been a teen Hun. But if we're gonna do this I don't exactly like the idea of Cain watching. Ya know." I say with a breathy voice.

I've never in my life flirted but I've seen some women do it and I'm trying my best and so far it seems to be working. Berthold glares at Cain and orders him to let go of me. He does and stands up stepping away from us. Berthold tells him to leave and I can see him rounding the corner as Berthold bemds town to kiss me. I let him. I bring my hands up to caress his face. I've never kissed someone before and I'm not sure if I like this.

He starts getting rougher with his hands as he continues to clumsily push his hands under my shirt. I push my hands into his hair. He gives a ground and his lips pull into a smirk.

Against my lips he mumbles, "You really are dirty slut." I smile back and moan my confirmation.

I move my thumb to his eyes and press as hard as I can. I keep his head clasped in my hands pressing in even as he's screaming like a banchee and is pushing me away.

The next second I'm ripped away and thrown to the ground. Cain is on top of me strangling me. I dig my nails into his arms, he lifts me by my neck and slams me back down on the ground and for a second I see white. I can taste blood on my lips.

This is it. I'm dead. I don't know which fear I prefer. Factionless or being kidnapped. Well at least their killing me now so it's not that bad.

My mind goes quiet and I cancel out the harsh sound of Cain's breathing and the mainiacel screaming coming from Berthold.

For a second everything is quiet. Then everything comes rushing back to me as Cain is plucked from my body. I can barely see straight as I try to get air into my lungs and the buzzing out of my head, the ringing in my ears making me feel disoriented.

I feel hands on me again but this time it's Eric's. He picked me up not even looking at Berthold.

We move through the hallways. I don't know where he's taking me but whatever he's going to do I just hope he's quick about it so I can die in peace.

I drift in and out a few times. Everytime I close my eyes he shakes me awake. Eventually he walks into an extremely brightly lit room. I see red brick walls and large windows. This place looks kinda nice. If it wasn't for the fact that the lights felt like they were burning my corneas

Not a second later and a lady is talking a mile a minute asking what happened. Belatedly I realize he took me to the infirmary.

I'm quickly placed on a bed while the lady is busy blinding me with her flashlight. She's asking me a bunch of questions but I don't understand anything. What the hell does she want from me. I just want to go to sleep now.

BONUS

I thought I heard screaming but when I checked the hallway there was nothing and the screaming has stopped. Shrugging I step back inside and continue with the weights I was using.

I don't know why but I'm disappointed in Anya. I honestly thought she had the dedication to come tonight instead of partying with her gaggle of friends.

I don't know why I singled her out. She caught my attention the moment she landed atop me. Beautiful was an understatement. I've never bothered noticing someone's beauty. But right then and there I couldn't keep my eyes off her.

The night she came into the training room dressed in her tiny shorts and bed head almost made me stumble during my run. I couldn't help myself other than challenging her.

This last month has been constant up and downs for me. On one hand I had to focus on initiation. Keeping the wolves like Berthold at Bay while fighting for the 1st spot with that stiff. Can't believe I'm competing with a stiff of all people.

At first I was going to just focus on initiation and ignore her. But I saw the way the stiff was looking at her all doe eyed. Disgusting. He can't have everything. So I decided to keep her attention on me, but I didn't know how to approach her. So in the end I ended up basically training her. I must admit she is quite promising.

Then again I keep thinking it's not right of me to keep her to myself just to spite the stiff. But sometimes when I look at her I know that's not the only reason I'm entertaining thoughts of her full lips brushing mine or her hands running over my back as I pound into her or the soft breathy moans I know she'll make while I worship her body.

I groan out loud at my thoughts. I freeze in the middle of a lift frowning. Ok that's a guy screaming his head of.

I frown making my way out the door a second time. Trying to figure out where the screaming is coming from. When I find the source I feel my blood run cold and rage overtake me.

The sight of Berthold hunched over blood pouring from his face and Cain straddling Anya chocking her whilst slamming her head on the cold stone floor had me reacting quicker than I thought possible. I ripped Cain off of her almost throwing him of the open edge of the chasm.

I picked her up. Almost slipping on the wet stones and made my way towards the infirmary.

I don't even remember the treck through the winding cabelike halls, just constantly checking that she stays awake and alert… well awake would have to do as I see her eyes drifting aimlessly.

They're dead. Both of them. I'll kill them with my own hands but first I have to know if she'll be ok.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

_**Sleeping with the jagged rocks...**_

I don't remember what the hell happened after Cain choked me but I'm in the infirmary. Alone.

I look around trying to figure out how I ended up here. I'm still dressed in my sleep shorts and t-shirt. My shoes have been removed and placed on a bench.

Someone enters through the curtains and I frown. It's Olive. I don't know why I expected someone else. She has a worried look and is carrying what seems to be my spare clothes.

My theory is proven correct when she hands me my jeans and purple tank top.

Olive looks at me and quietly whispers, "What happened Anya? I woke up this morning to Amar telling me to bring you a spare pair of clothes." Her eyes move to my neck pointedly.

I know there must be two hand bruises on my neck from her reaction. I sigh and whisper back, "Berthold and Cain thought they could be dicks and get away with it."

Her eyes widen. Hesitantly she asks, "Where are they now?" looking around as if they would pop out from behind the bed or something. I just shrug in reply and start dressing.

My entire body hurts. I should never have left the dorm last night. As I pull up my jeans I realize my hands are clean. I move to the mirror and notice my face has been cleaned as well.

I remember being covered in Berthold's blood. I look towards my black shirt I had on and notice the dark hardened spots. Well at least the nurses are nice enough to clean me.

I walk out with Olive by my side noticing the clock reading 6am. I frown looking at Olive. "Why did you come get me so early?"

"Max told me to take you to his office." Olive says with a worried frown.

Nodding I walk with Olive towards the leader's offices. We're stopped at the end of the long hallway by Amar telling Olive that she's free to go.

Hesitantly Olive nods and turns back. I start to worry. Why are they being so serious. Yes what happened wasn't right but they're acting as if someone died. I don't remember killing anyone.

Amar opens a heavy oak door for me to step through. Once I'm inside I notice Eric is sat at the desk in one of the two chairs in front of Max's desk. I look towards Max who just looks tired.

He motions for me to take a seat next to Eric. When I do take a seat I can feel Eric tense. I look at him but he's avoiding my eyes staring Max down.

Max just sighs and turns the screen towards me and presses a button.

On the screen I can see Berthold dragging me into the alcove. You can barely see me as only one of my feet are visible. Next Cain is shown entering the alcove, that's when he was holding me down. Berthold can be seen straddling me.

A second later Cain can be seen leaving the alcove but is only standing guard around the corner. It's quiet for a second before Cain rushes back and throws me out off the alcove and straddles me choking me.

Subconsciously I move my hand to my neck. The video is slightly grainy and in shades of blue grey and black but it's quite obvious I'm covered in blood as I kick and struggle against Cain.

After maybe 10 seconds a form is seen rushing in and belatedly I realize it's Eric throwing Cain off of me. He punches him in the face and turns to pick me up.

Looking up at Max I expect that to be the end of the video but he just tells me "look" and I return my eyes to the screen.

Berthold is still crouched on the ground clutching his face, Cain stands up to attend to him but as Cain bends down to touch him Berthold pushes him and there he goes.

Cain disappears off the edge of the chasm. Max presses a button to fast forward and the time at the bottom shows 2:07 and I see Eric's form return. Only to find Berthold lying there not moving. At first I think he's dead having bled out. But Eric lifts him up against the stone wall clearly yelling at him.

Berthold is holding on to Eric's arm as two new parties arrive. Eric throws him down and stalks away. Max stopped the video and turns towards me pressing the record button on the tablet lying between us. "Initiate Anya Willow please explain what happened during 00:00 to 00:15 on the 5th of March year 196 AF."

I look up startled frowning at his question but deciding to answer in any case, "I uh was walking towards the training room. When Berthold grabbed me and dragged me to the edge of the chasm. Cain joined him. Cain was holding me down while Berthold sat on me… tt-touching uh me." I glance away feeling uncomfortable telling them this.

I continue though, "I knew I couldn't fight them both off so I acted as if I was into it. But I told him I don't want Cain around. He was kissing and touching me. I waited until he was too distracted, I uhh. I pushed my fingers into his eyes. I was still trying to get him off me when Cain came and ripped me off of him."

I sigh looking back up into Max's eyes, though not daring to look in Eric's direction, "he was chocking me whilst slamming my head against the floor, I don't remember anything after that though."

Max nods and ends the recording. He saves it and sends it to someone.

He then looks up with all seriousness. " That was just a formality that if asked why an initiate was removed from the faction and made Factionless. But you did nothing wrong, technically."

I nod softly not knowing what to say Max turns to Eric and nods. "You two are free to go. If anyone asks it's your choice to tell them but I don't want to hear anything if rumors or what not makes their way back."

We both nod and thank Max before leaving the office. Eric stays quiet next to me as we walk towards the lifts to head back to the pit. Once inside I lean against the one wall looking at Eric standing stock still in front of the door. "Thank you, for saving me."

Eric turns around with a glare, "You were supposed to be able to handle them. Why the hell did I bother teaching you anything when you can't even use it!"

I'm speechless at his reaction. I've seen Eric bored, disinterested, annoyed, cocky even sleepy but never have I seen him angry. I press myself further into the lifts wall.

He looks at me disgusted and walks out as the lift 'tings' its arrival at the bottom floor.

Slowly I get out as well but see he has already disappeared into one of the corridors leading from the lift. I make my way to the pit surprised by the sea of color.

Stupid me forgot that it's visiting day. I'm worried for a second that no one came but then think maybe it's a good thing. I don't want my family seeing me like this.

But even as I'm thinking it I make my way towards the mess hall where the visitors have to wait for whomever their visiting to take them to the pit.

I look around not seeing anybody but then a head of strawberry blonde hair catches my attention. Dad. He's alone it seems talking to a Dauntless women they seem to be very friendly with each other as they hug while chatting. I frown and make my way towards them.

"Dad!"

My dad turns around and smiles at me hugging me. He smells so familiar. Like the sun and pine needles. For some reason I feel like crying. Eventually he let's go of me and turns towards the Dauntless women still standing there.

"Anya this is Natasha my sister." For a moment I'm shocked I didn't know I had an aunt. The thoughts of crying flee my mind as Natasha grabs and hugs me.

"I knew you were Dimitri's kid the moment I saw you getting off that net. Sorry I didn't introduce myself sooner but I didn't know how to tell you just say 'hi I'm your aunt and welcome to Dauntless' or something so I decided I'll wait for visiting day. I knew he would show up for you." I'm a bit blindsided. She's babbling.

I can't say I've noticed her but now that I look at her I can see the resemblance. Her hair though is actually red and cut into a bob. Her eyes are light green like mine whereas my father's eyes are dark green.

I just stand there stunned. My dad pushes us both towards the pit. I spend the rest of the day catching up with my dad. Turns out mom went to visit Casden and Dad chose to come visit me.

I must say when I realized my dad was a transfer I thought he was originally from either Abnegation or Erudite. He was always quiet and when he did speak he always chose his words carefully. I always described my dad as kind, smart yet always put others before himself.

The day was over much sooner than I wanted. Natasha had just left wanting to give us a moment alone before he has to get on the truck leaving for Amity.

His hand goes to my neck, "What happened Anya?" he asks his eyebrows furrowed.

Shying away from his hands I tell him that it's nothing he should worry about.

After a beat he hums in acknowledgement, "I home you taught them a lesson Anya. Here you have to fight to stay on top. You can't just wait for others. This is a take action or die faction. Do you understand Anya?"

"Yes daddy, one is sleeping with jagged rocks and the other seems to have found himself with the Factionless." I say around the knot lodged in my throat.

He nods his approval and smiles at me, "Good girl."

We say goodbye after a long hug. I already miss him.

It's dinner time by the time my dad gets on the truck and they pull away. I watch them disappear down the damaged road.

After dinner I head straight to bed just after 7. I luckily evaded all questions about last night. The fact that Berthold and Cain was nowhere to be seen and I was still here spoke louder than words could.

I passed out before my head had even hit the pillow.

I wake up with a start, shaking the remnants of my nightmare from my mind. The dorm was completely dark but I could hear the quiet snuffles and snores of the other initiates.

Quietly I got up and gathered clean leggings and a grey workout shirt with clean underwear. I made my way to the showers glancing at the clock that read it was one in the morning.

After my shower I got dressed and made my way outside. This time I avoided the chasm and walked through the pit towards the training room.

I expected it to be empty. But no there Eric was kicking the stuffing out of the poor dummy.

"Do you ever sleep?" I ask genuinely curious.

He falters with his next kick but quickly recovers and continues on ignoring my question.

Sighing I move closer to him standing just over a meter away from him. "You didn't waste your time training me. Thinking back on it now I can think of at least 10 ways to get myself out of there. It's just I have this fear of being kidnapped and I thought I handled it well but then Cain came back and it's as if the fear kicked in too late and I panicked an…"

I'm cut off from my rant as Eric turns towards me, "You're Dauntless now Anya. You need to be brave, believe in yourself. Bravery is not being fearless it's being able to continue to fight despite your fears."

His words reverberates through me. I was being brave until I decided I couldn't. It's my own fault.

I'm pulled from my dark thoughts as Eric caress my neck with the tips of his fingers gliding over my throat. His touch sending a spark down my body.

His grey eyes meet mine and I'm trapped, I can feel the pull of desire. My nipples are straining against the fabric of my sports bra. The heat pool in my nether regions. I can feel my face burning up and mentally kick myself for blushing like a loony.

He's not going to want to kiss a glowing tomato. Calm down, that is even if he intends to kiss me. I see him stepping closer his breath falling over my lips. I'm tilting my head back waiting for the contact my eyes starting to flutter close when he suddenly pulls away a frown marring his handsome features.

His breathing is labored when he steps back and glances at me, "I don't think this is a good idea after what happened to you last nigh."

I smile at him, "Maybe," I say stepping closer towards him laying my hand on his chest, "But at least this time it's consensual. I don't want to count that as my first kiss."

His eyes flash and the next think I know I'm pulled flush against his body his lips though are a gentle graze against mine.

I can feel my heart flutter as my hand on his chest tighten it's grip on his shirt and my other hand flying to his hair pushing him closer deepening the kiss.

This is what I want. This feels right. We're kissing like our lives depend on it but soon he brakes away and I moan at the loss of his lips but I feel them graze my jawline down to my neck where he gently kisses the bruised skin.

I swallow roughly as my heart soars and I feel tears prick at my eyes. He pulls his head back and looks at me. "Please don't get emotional all over me."

I simply giggle and step back. "Not emotional just happy. So uh you gonna show me how to kick a dummy like that or is this gonna be another fake it till you make it lesson for your laughing pleasure?"

His devilish smirk says enough as my shoulders sag. I pick the dummy next to his and watch his stance and how he maneuvers to put as much power as possible into the kick.

TBC


End file.
